Wednesday, 7 January 2009

A letter for you on your most important birthday

Dear Brandon,

        I almost forgot your birthday, until I saw the Birthday Reminder sent to my mailbox two weeks ago. I got two of the Reminders for today, one was yours, and another one was reminding a friend of mine whom I knew since we were in primary school. Same day, but big difference in the conversation to both of you. Time passed, and the day I knew what happened on you was two years and four months ago. I couldn't tell if these 846 days long or short.

        Today, you turn freshly into 21, become an adult. I bet you will say, that you were 21 mentally long time ago. Yes, but from now on, you can step into casino, like most of the fresh 21-year-olds in Malaysia say. If you went back to school for you O Level, I guess you have passed it, and continuing on your A Level, or taking an undergraduate programme, just like me.

        Do you still remember how do we know each other? Yes, Neopets, that kiddy websites. We met in Neoboard, and we decided to form a guild outselves. And you thought me to sign up for multi accounts, which gave me an idea of building a shopping mall in Neopets. Since then, we often chatted in MSN Messenger, and most of it were not related to Neopets, it was about us. You always came in a mischievous attitude, and liked to tell disguisting jokes. To me, you had invented some funny addresses, such as "shitball" or "stinkball"; you did teach me some new English vocabularies too, indirectly. Sometimes, I couldn't chat with you, if I were without my electronic dictionary with me. You spoke fast, you typed fast, and you used varied words. Those Chinese pinyin you typed, always made me laugh. I guess, the word you used the most was "pian tai". Haha, you always had problem with those beautiful body art I displayed as my avatar in MSN Messenger, and then you will make joke of it.

        I miss those days so much, that you cheered me up and encourage me from my depression and upset in the college life of New Era College, because you knew me well. I thought you were sombody sophisticated and early-mature, and take you as a precious friend; whenas, I didn't know that we were same kind of people. You knew me, and I knew you, as least we understand each other's circumstances. It made you even more precious than before, that no on else on earth understand my circumstances, but you.

        You proposed a meeting at Genting. For the first time, I promised you, but I let you down. I was so sorry about that, but I guess you could understand my position as a daughter, and my parents' feelings. I always thought there will be other chances to meet up, you know? Then, you proposed to meet in that December, before your school open. I was looking forward to it. Although I don't and won't ride the rollercoaster, but I could wait for you down there; and we could have fun with Motion Master. You could show me your martial art, and you could carry on with your disguisting jokes. I could imagine that you would keep on talking, non-stop, and I'll listen, like we had known each other for a very long time.

        All that fantasies had became a dream on Andy Lau's birthday on 2006, with your father online in MSN Messenger. I was shocked, so shocked, and that made me missed Mdm. Soo Yuen Tien's class. From your father, I knew it was few days after our conversation in MSN. Was it because I didn't online? This question has been in my mind. It was just eight days, and I couldn't understand why was there such a dramatical change. Was it because I were busying on studies, and didn't online? I thought Lithium Carbonate and Zyprexa Olanzapine helped you?

        Couldn't meet at Genting is a regret, and the incident is my lost. You are my precious friend, and I'll keep that in the bottom of my heart. I thank you for all those prayers, and those time we spent together. I still remember the song you like the most was Glenn Frey's The One You Love, and I'm playing you this song.

        Happy Birthday, may Jesus will send you my words.

Friday, 2 January 2009

带走

        已经是2009年的第二天了。虽然有人说过,眷恋过去是老人家的专利,但我还是忍不住回头望了望。

        2008年的离去,也带走了院长,让这一词成为过去式,埋进新纪元的校史中堆中。事情虽不就久远,但已有“上一个朝代”的那种感觉了。天下无不散之筵席,他的离职是迟早的事情,况且那不是重点;重点是:事情结束了吗?或者,他的离去像是大鲍之死,四头鲍的故事还没结束?其实,《溏心风暴》算那根葱啊?咱们的“董新门”才有看头!

        这一分钟,我坐在电脑前,心想:2008年可以带走了院长,为何不要顺手牵羊,把我剩下的两份讨人厌的报告也一并带走?没力了,没力了……正当大家高喊“新年新希望”,我却一点儿力气也没有,要死不死的。呜呼哀哉!

        年份交替,2008若把院长带走,也应该把该死的论文带走,给我带来更多的复习时间;2008年还应该把脑残的留学生公寓管理层给带走,把我的热水供应带来。在这里住久了,开始担心自己会不会染上脑残的绝症了……

        想起了这首歌:

 

Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say


Take my breath away
Take my breath away


Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating
To become the fated ones
Turning and returning
To some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion
As you turn to me and say


Take my breath away
Take my breath away


Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid


Take my breath away
Take my breath away


Watching every motion
In this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion
Somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn my way and say

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Wednesday, 31 December 2008

糗大了,糗大了!!!

        二零零八年十二月三十一日,原以为这一天会平静度过,却没想到雷公发威了!

        星期三原本有两门课,早上八点的是英语写作,但取消了,剩下十点的英汉互译。(其实,若写作课没有取消,我大概也不会上的。)老师上星期给我们的作业,号称是最后一分的,是一首诗歌:John Donne的The Expiration。当我拿到作业纸的那一刻,我就知道我必须上网找一找译文来帮助理解,没有的话,会死得很惨!中文的诗歌都看不懂了,还来英文的?我的英文不好的,只会Hello、Thank you和I Love You(蹲在地上画圈圈,突然一阵风吹过,“哈秋!”)。

        十点钟,关门,上课。老师叫我们分成前后两组,讨论以后就把答案写在黑板上。我们讨论,老师巡逻似得地走来走去。突然,老师就停在我旁边,把我的簿子拉去看了。呃,怎么感觉都只看我的?我翻得那么烂。老师一脸严肃,很认真地在看我的译文。放下我簿子,他问道:“你这个……”(一贯地陆式停顿)“有参考什么译文吗?”

        雷!好啰,既然老师看出来了(其实,我相信要看出来并不难),我就承认啰!反正我又不是抄,而且“错就要认,打就要企定”。我很直接地说:“有!”

        “你有改过,是吗?”

        “是啦。其实,我只是靠那篇译文来帮助我理解原文,然后再翻译的。”

        “哪里找到的?”

        “网上啊!用Google search的。”

        “网上有吗?怎么找的?”

        “有啊!就打这个诗歌的名,然后一个‘+’,再打这第一行的字。然后,还要加‘中英’或‘翻译’等中文字眼,那么才会有中文出来。”

        “噢,那知道译者是谁啊?”

        “呃……好像没有注明耶。我不确定,因为是一整篇很长的东西。好像有,又好像没有。不确定。”

        老师“噢”了几下,就走到后面去了。啊,这样就被逮到了!欧麦葛!虽然我没有真的抄完,不过还是会觉得不好意思;但若我没参考,说不定我今天的簿子是空的。和同组的同学聊,就说到我看的那个译本在开头的时候译成怎样怎样。

        老师站在后面,和董磊、邓琼她们讨论她们的译文。看他讲完了,我就叫了老师一声,他走了过来。我说:“老师,那个译文其实还蛮好笑的,这个so, so... 被译成‘请,请……’,而这里就说你往那里走,我往这里走啦。感觉就是……前面很严肃,后面很……”

        “嗯,嗯……那其实是我翻译的。”(又是一贯的陆式语气,似认真严肃而非。)

        雷!靁!!!脑残了……

        脑子里飘过一行字:糗大了,糗大了,糗大了,糗大了,糗大了……糗大了!!!哇唠A,这么囧的事情怎么会发生在我身上?死了,死了,死了,死了……老师一定气死了。我把头靠上了桌子,越靠越近,恨不得能把自己从一场噩梦中敲醒。

        下课后,下楼梯时,我走在老师旁边,用死狗般的语气:“老师,呃……不好意思哦,我刚才这么说。”

        老师拍了一下我的肩膀,露出那灿烂的陆式标准笑容:“没事啦!哈哈哈……”

        嗯……老师还蛮可爱的……我相信老师是一个好人……不会把我当掉的……嗯……嗯……(摸摸心口:呼……淡定有钱净唔洗腾,no problem!)

Thursday, 25 December 2008

What a shivering Christmas!

        这天有考试。刚开始的时候,我真的恨不能接受。但说得对,中国是一个不重视圣诞节的地方,正如外国也不重视农历新年,也许大年初一需要考试也不一定。早上的考试是东方文学与文化。其实,我可说是没有读到,因为之前的那一天都在赶这门课的作业,题目很吓人——《红楼梦》与《源氏物语》。我用火速与极高度的专注把它在短时间内完成了,但完成以后却没有精力去读书了,累死了。

        进到课室,大家已经准备就绪,气氛紧张(可能只是我觉得而已)。老师说,还没交作业的,现在交;电脑有问题的,还是因为别的因素而不能今天交的,就在元旦前呈上就好了。哇唠A~~~早知道我先做另一个老头的功课啰!接了第一个炸弹后,我就开始作答。我不知道该不该说我的考试难,但是第一次考试总觉得怪怪的。有很多题目看起来很熟悉,却说不上答案来,郁闷呐!然后,我看见前面的董磊在翻笔记,我就问她:“是开卷考吗?”我真还不知道呢!幸好我没有傻到不带笔记,所以就有东西让我翻一翻。这个开卷考未至于像廖文辉的那种开卷考,因为陈融老师还是有出一些填充题是可以让我们看着笔记直接抄过去;若是廖文辉的开卷考试,他会出那些让我们带书进去也不会作答的问题,只有真的懂的学生才会作答。绝吧?考卷分成三项,填充、名词解释和简答题。填充,我知道,就是填下答案来充满句子嘛!名词解释,我不太清楚,看了老半天,都不肯定要怎么回答。这个部分有三题,有两题是书名,第三题是一个角色的名字。结果,在逼不得以之下,我将我对那本书的认识都写下去(但空了一题,因为没有资料可以写)。第三个项是简答题。这是一个让我感到疑惑的环节,虽说这是简答题,但是它的题目很长。没关系,但重点是它一题的分数已经是30分了,那……还算简答吗?真是令人头大了。

         考试以后,我马上回房间了。其实,我是想要在出去以前,写一点那个老头的作业。结果,事与愿违啊!老是力不从心,否则就是没有概念,貌似等死。我还在想,在这样的压迫情况下,我还有心情享受圣诞节吗?看了TOM星座上的分析,这几天我的确有事情在干扰着,即使有节日还是什么的,都难以提起劲。

        今天很塞车啊,也许是因为下班时间吧!我们到夏朵的时候,已经是六点半了。迟了,迟到了!QW和YR已经到了。我一坐下,就被叫选菜了。感觉很奇怪,不知道是因为赶还是什么,我竟然在翻看菜单的时候,不知道要吃什么。此不知道不是因为选择太多而难以作决定,而是都不怎么想吃,之前在筹划的时候,那种期待与热诚都没有了。今天都不点套餐,都只单点和一杯鸡尾酒。

        吃完后,我们就开始交换礼物的环节。原本说要转吸管或叉来决定谁拿谁的礼物,之后却改成了猜号码。有创意吧?既好玩,又有礼物可以收,进度也慢一些。剩下最后的两个,是我和YR,我们“石头剪刀布”后,就选择了要哪一份礼物。既然我已经知道了Jeff的礼物,因此我要了YP的。交换礼物的结果是:Jeff 得到K金刚的钟,K金刚得到YR的茶具一套,YP得到QW的日记本,QW得到我的三聚氰胺组(零食组啦!),YR得到Jeff的零食组(可真兴奋得很呢!),我得到YP的三盒Pokka饼。

        离开餐厅,我们到YR家附近的韩国商店买梅酒,Jeff还买了一堆东西呢!原本我们想到克里斯汀买蛋糕的,无奈QW说的那个已经卖完了,而一片片的看起来就不好吃(他们的蛋糕,看起来都很不吸引人)。这天,我特别想吃白色的蛋糕,或是吃了让人觉得很窝心的蛋糕,也许是心情不怎么好吧!在那间很有王家卫风味的家,我们喝酒、吃零食、聊天。在十一点左右,QW先行离去。K金刚和Jeff送她走;回来的时候,两人竟然都双手拿满了夜宵。天啊,怎么吃得完啊?虽然今天的晚餐不饱,但我还是吃不多,因为不习惯晚上吃东西。

        我们聊着聊着,K金刚就睡上那开了电热毯的床;不久,Jeff也睡了上去。剩下三个女的在聊天。在我们都想睡的时候,发现俩男都睡得像死猪一样。YR不忍心吵醒他们,唯有睡在那个不想沙发床的沙发床上,没有电热毯,没有棉被,都被俩男用了。夜越深,感觉越来越冷,纵使YR关上了所有的门窗,开了所谓的暖气,我还是不由自主地在抖动。我穿着两件衣和两件裤,却依然感到不知哪里吹来的冷风。由于要早起,所以即使颤抖着也要尝试睡下去。迷迷糊糊中,我只觉得越来越冷,连呼吸都是颤抖的。感觉上,要到早上六点的夜很长(虽然已经凌晨两点了),这样的颤抖不知道会在什么时候停止。

        天渐亮,我们都醒了,我身体还在颤抖着。YR说,昨晚我冷得连睡着后的呼吸声也是抖着的。

        回到普陀区后,感觉我们的校区暖太多了,但也因此而害怕的寒冷。原来,寒冷会让黑夜变长。要命!

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

不平静的平安夜

        “Silent night... holy night....”

        超市内播着平安夜。虽然版本不怎么好听,但很怀念这首歌。是的,怀念!以前听的时候,就已认为它让平静下来的功力是不可否认的。唱这首歌,不是在报佳音的时候,就是在教堂的圣诞会上。但是,今天不再平静了。

        明天早上有考试,然后得交上那个非常让我头疼的英文论文,其实那都不是不平静的重点,重点是:这个当下,在刚赶完了明天要交的第一份论文后,明天的考试我丝毫未翻过笔记,而那个很头疼的论文则一个英文字母都还没打。

        神啊!若你的降世是为了拯救世人,你就先救一救我吧!

          来到这个地步,就像是孟子在面临选择鱼或熊掌的为难时刻。貌似必须二选一,但其实我必须两个都要。如果我现在写那个英文论文,我必定没有精神应付明天的考试,而且放弃那个考试很可惜,因为我刚死赶烂赶地赶好了那份作业。如果我现在看笔记,我必定开始不了那份论文,换言之我明天交不上去,这么一来,不就让我在期中时候写得几乎吐血身亡的那份论文白费了?

        有谁能告诉我,到底要怎样做?

        (我很想盖下我的笔记电脑,然后把自己敲死算了。被电脑敲死,和给论文压死,差不了多少!)