I really don't understand why do people like to pop up to me, when they need a dictionary or translator. Do I look like a book or a translating machine? I don't think so.
It is quite confusing. I like translating, because it gives me satisfactory; I hate translating, because people like to abuse me. Yes, abuse me. I really hate the feeling of being abuse, especially when they think my English is very good under unilateral willingness, and as a matter of course. And after they say so, they will usually start to abuse me. Gosh, what am I? An idiot can be fooled by some damn fake stupid praise? While these people asking, they will show a face... hmm... or I shall say, I will see a wicked face appear on these me-abusers.
Who said my English is good? Every time I disagree this statement, why will people either think I am joking, or I am just being humble. Well, a person like me does not need to be humble, because I have nothing to humble for. I don't like to be use by people. I don't like to be a speaking dictionary. I don't like to be an instant translating machine. It is difficult for me to translate too, but everyone will prefer to believe it is just a piece of cake for me, and don't know what I have suffering from the whole translation. Knowing some fucking ABCs does not mean one's English is good, it is not that easy and simple. I need to pay much effort on looking up the fucking dictionaries too! And the only power to increase this satisfaction is money! Yes, M-O-N-E-Y, money! Maybe you will think I am snobbish, but I will tell you that you totally don't understand what translation is.
So, please stop abusing me. It is impossible for Malaysian on not understanding English, especially those who declare themselves as English illiterate. "English not good" does not equal to "English illiterate". The latter means can't understand at all, not even a word. For me, it is really impossible to happen on a Malaysian. And it is actually the laziness of dictionary checking.
我的EQ不高，容易受人牵制，而我是能够改变的。我知道。
我应该不管别人说什么或做什么，然后影响了自己的心情。我知道。
我应该别想太多，选好就别回头，我知道。
我应该放胆去追求自己的梦想，走出明天。我知道。
这些事情我都知道，但我却不知道为什么要花费那么的心机去改变。我不知道我的EQ提高有何好处。我不知道我为何在意别人的一举一动。我不知道若我不在意别人，又有何差别。我不知道我要怎么选择才对。我不知道怎样才能不多想。我不知道怎样才能放胆追求梦想。我不知道要放什么胆去追求梦想。我不知道我到底有什么梦想……
在一堆我已经知道的事实，却不知道如何将假象扭转为实施，更不知道为何我天天重复着真实的举动，迈向真实，却制造更多的假象。
一切都迷失于混沌之中，而混沌继续地混浊着。
